What are essentially funny quotes...

Here are a few funny quotes about languages.. (at least I find them funny...):

American English is essentially English after having been wiped off with a dirty sponge.
--J.R.R. Tolkien

American English is essentially your Queen's English as bastardized by colonists, or is it as colonized by bastards?

--ilvi

American English is essentially British English without the funny accent. [Or is that Canadian English?

--Aleks Dubh

Welsh is essentially what appears on the screen after you have inadvertently been resting your elbow on the keyboard.

--And Rosta

Welsh is essentially the only language that can have four consecutive L's.

--Danny Weir

Italian is essentially bad Latin.

--Eugene Holman

Spanish is essentially bad Italian.

--Eugene Holman

French is essentially the language that Americans don't learn before travelling abroad.

--Dan Seriff

There are what appears to be a few hundred other ones here.